Ann Reed, Commencement, 12/16/04

I’ve been a songwriter and a performer for more than 25 years. In the years before I made my living this way, I had to take day jobs to support my music habit. I’ve stuffed envelopes, worked on the line at a factory that made dietary custard, was a directory assistance operator, delivered waterbeds to a record store (don’t ask), and drove an ice cream truck. That’s just a few of them.

As a child, I don’t remember having a specific line of work in mind. I don’t remember telling my parents that I wanted to be a firefighter or an astronaut.

I do remember, soon after my first communion, when I was about eight years old, I decided I wanted to be a priest. I was quite taken with the ritual and I would go into my room, throw a giant beach towel over my back and...pretend. I made Wonder Bread communion wafers. One day I announced to my mother: “I’m going to be a priest.” She said: “Really?” “Well, that’s very hard work.”
I’m sure my mom’s response was based on the fact that she was talking to an eight-year-old, but honestly, that comment is reflective of my parent’s attitude toward whatever I wanted to do in my life. Might be hard but go ahead and try.

When I revealed to my grandmother — a woman who had converted to Catholicism — that I was going to be a priest, she asked if I had been called. Called... The confused look on my face must have been priceless.

I’ve come to understand that having a calling is a wonderful, sometimes difficult, exquisite, special gift. More than a profession or a job, it’s a road you must take. Writing has been that for me. Writing is a way to enter the world, make sense of it, sort through accumulated emotions and experiences until something that feels true takes root. I am blessed, indeed, to have work that is fulfilling and meaningful. But I’ve learned that being called to do something does not do away with doubt, nor does it make it easier to have a meaningful life. Does simply being an artist guarantee fulfillment? The answer is no.

At the beginning of my career – this is a small sample of the Paying-Your-Dues part - I played bar gigs. Four or five hours a night, sneaking original songs in between requests for Desperado, Stairway To Heaven and Freebird. At the time, I was singing with a friend named Judy Foster, and I was always amazed that people would look at two women with acoustic guitars and think: “Yeah! Let’s ask ’em to play a little Led Zeppelin!”

Whenever we did manage to sing a song I had written, the response was usually the sound of one hand clapping. There were nights when a few people in the bar tried to throw pennies into the sound holes of our guitars. Still, that inner voice whispered “Stay with it.” And the same inner voice would respond, “Are you kidding? Is this it?”

What is my life about? Why do I not feel satisfied? How do I lead a meaningful life? Is this it? Common questions that have been asked by our parents, grandparents, artists, bricklayers, teachers...you name it.
We have all sorts of gadgets and technology with the promise to keep us connected, but nothing (short of disease or broken legs) to help us stop and ask the question: How do I make my life meaningful?

Finding meaningful work, of course, is a beautiful thing. It is, however, unrealistic to expect that everyone will find deeply meaningful work. Sometimes, the medical credo of “First Do No Harm” is the best you can do — find work that is, at the very least, in sync with your values. Of course, that assumes that you know what your values are. That would be the first step.

The second step is to realize that this world needs you. Every one of you. You will go out into the world, and – no matter how you’re paying the bills - you will have that voice begging you to pay attention, to use your gifts.

For some of you there will be excuses: But it doesn’t pay well...it’s too hard...I would be giving up so much...I’ll do it later after I have a little money saved up. Let me tell you that the most unhappy people I have ever met are those who did not follow that inner voice.

For others the response to “use your gifts” is going to be “What gifts?”

In our society we place importance on visible gifts: writing, painting, singing, athletic ability. Then, there are not-so-visible gifts that get some recognition but certainly not as much as the visible ones: cooking, sewing, being able to repair or build things.

And then there’s a third group that not only deserves more attention but shapes the spirit: knowing what it means to be a good friend; making someone who is uncomfortable feel at ease, either in a large crowd or in a strange setting; being able to sit with sorrow, to go through intense hardship – and instead of allowing bitterness to take over, becoming a stronger, more compassionate person;; having common sense. These gifts get overshadowed by the more visible ones. In this cacophonous world, we don’t think about what a rare gift it is to be able to listen well. My career would not have been possible had it not been for the gifts of support I received from my family and friends.

There are people for whom the work they do is helpful, even valuable, but they still have that nagging empty spot.

The nagging, empty spot was one reason why I realized that I was most likely never going to be outrageously famous. Also, I’m an introvert, don’t schmooze well, and the kind of music I write is personal. This revelation was a relief. It freed me. Along with my manager and business partner, Lin Bick, I was now the director of my own career.
Owning one’s own business is a romantic notion to anyone who has not owned his or her own business. It is the hardest work I have ever done but also the most rewarding.

Sitting down one Christmas Eve day, about 14 years ago, completely exhausted, we figured out that we had done 214 concerts since January 10th of that year – sometimes two performances in one day We had been driving our van all over the country. Something didn’t feel right.

It’s a gift to hear music in your head and make it real. To put words and music together. You don’t tell a gift how to arrive but when it does, there’s an unwritten responsibility to share it, and allow it to do whatever good it can do in the world.

To that end, we decided that 25% of my touring schedule would be to benefit, raise money or awareness for organizations that primarily addressed issues facing women and children: Habitat for Humanity, Girl Scouts, numerous events for breast cancer research, HIV/AIDS, domestic violence programs, and environmental issues.

When you decide to give of your self and your time, you have no idea what gifts you may get in return. Case in point ...

I was on the bill at Northrop Auditorium for the No Nuclear Dumping on the Mississippi River concert that featured among other performers one of my personal heroes, Bonnie Raitt. I had not entertained the thought that I might meet her. Standing on the same stage was more than enough, thank you. Now, as it turned out, my dressing room was right next door to hers. My manager, Lin, was there when who should be standing in MY doorway but Bonnie Raitt!
I am told that she said some very nice things. I just stood there, unable to speak. The people in my brain kept saying “Hey, Look at that! Bonnie Raitt’s talking to you! You should probably say something…”

Believe it or not, there have been many events where I ended up unable to speak in front of the most courageous people it has been my pleasure to meet.

I sang at a candlelight vigil in Rice Lake, Wisconsin, where the community joined together to raise awareness about domestic abuse in rural areas and I listened as a father spoke about his murdered daughter. At a Women-Build Habitat House I witnessed the joy of a single mother and her two children as they opened the door to their new home — while I sang Power Tools Are A Girls Best Friend.
Last year, about this time, We were finished touring until after the holidays. We received an e-mail from a woman whose name I recognized from our mailing list. She was a member of a group that had come together to take care of a friend named Jean who was battling cancer. This was going to be Jean’s last holiday season. In Winona, they were going to have a special gathering in her honor. I was one of Jean’s favorite singers, they told me, and would I ever think about coming and singing a few songs? How could I not?

What you give…comes back a thousand times over and enriches your life.

Whatever gifts you may have, whether you discover them now or later in your life, I guarantee that when you give of yourself to others, the nagging empty spot becomes calm and filled.

A great woman, Shirley Chisholm, said: “Service is the rent that you pay for room on this earth”

And almost a century ago, writer Myrtle Reed offered this: “If we all tried to make other people’s paths easy, our own feet would have a smooth even place to walk on.”

I think sometimes we hesitate to volunteer or give of our time because of something I call The Gandhi Syndrome. We think if we can’t change the world as Gandhi or Martin Luther King, Jr. did, then it’s just not worth the effort.

Most often, change happens one person at a time.

It isn’t about world peace. It isn’t about curing disease. Of course if you want to give those a try, all the better. It’s about shoveling your 70-year-old next-door neighbor’s sidewalk. It’s about slowing down and letting a car in on the freeway. It’s about being a volunteer. Hospitals, hospice programs, feline rescue, canine rescue, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, teaching English as a second language – the list is endless.

I believe there is no reason for anyone to say they’re bored or there’s nothing to do or there’s nothing that can be done. The search for meaning in our lives can be found in our service to one another.

Whatever you do in this life, take time to sit quietly and let the world tell you what it needs from you. Take a moment to honestly understand what your gifts are – you all have them. The way you choose to live your life brings meaning to your life.

In her poem “A Brave and Startling Truth,”
Maya Angelou said:

When we come to it
We must confess that we are the possible
We are the miraculous, the true wonder of the world
That is when, and only when
We come to it.

May we all come to it.
Thank you.

Song Lyrics